Showing posts with label cambodia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cambodia. Show all posts

24 March 2016

journey's end [6 years in cambodia + 1 year in canada]

[ some thoughts from june 2015 as we marked the one year anniversary of leaving cambodia & returning to terrace]

nothing is lost on the breath of God


a year ago, tomorrow, we stepped on an airplane & left our whole life.

& i felt for sure that my heart wouldn't be able to stand the shattering.  the way ming kohm bent low to kiss a sleeping ezra, to stroke her cheek one last time.  how could i know that our season of losing was just beginning?

in stillness, looking back, i can see the losing intertwined with a year's worth of celebration like a spider's web.  a matrix of pain & wonder.

we threw off the shackles of work, of chasing injustice & celebrated a summer of home.  we felt freer than the birds on our cross country road trip.

& we arrived to a home tinged.  to a father's body fading.  to hospital visits stretched long.  

we unpacked.  we celebrated one last thanksgiving.  & we saw him give her roses for one last birthday.  

we mourned the loss of a grandfather, a whole wide continent away & taught our children about trick or treating.  & when we brought our pumpkins home, we called an ambulance for a father's pain without mercy.  

on the day my family in the u.s. celebrated thanksgiving, we heard the doctor say there was nothing left to do.  we sat with him & sang day & night.  daniel's violin echoing down the halls.  & on st. nicholas' day, a day brimming with gezellig memories, we lost him.

on my 33rd birthday we celebrated his life with a funeral that filled the church.  

we celebrated new year's eve  in the same hospital with a grieving widow, slowly losing all her muscles had learned.  

we celebrated valentine's day with news of a baby; a spark of hope.  & after an easter celebration we planted a tree to symbolize that loss. tiny & fierce.

i never wrote a reflection on our 6th year in cambodia because i couldn't wrap my head around the experience, around everything we saw & heard & did & learned.  about the way we learned over & over about all that is beautiful & broken.

with a year of pondering behind me, i'm still waiting to grasp the metanarrative.  i read somewhere that the memories we rehearse & weave into stories make grooves in our brains, between our neurons, sparking between our synapses & changing us.

as we close this chapter, these are the stories i chose to etch.  the memories, the folktales, the stories that cambodian people have woven into their selves - of palaces & rice & colorful angels & dancing godesses & sweet mangoes & cool baths on warm evenings.  of the mystery of the kingdom on the mekong & the deep beauty in shy smiles.

& i choose to remember this, my story, to wear its grooves into my history - the year we left.  & lost.  & celebrated.



3 April 2014

the holy dare [5 years in cambodia]


christmas card 2013
[amanda, daniel, cedar & ezra: cameron highlands, malaysia 2013 
photo by steve chee]

here is our (very belated!) christmas card + some thoughts from last fall, as we wrapped up our fifth year in cambodia.  sometimes its hard to separate out how much of what we're learning is just the natural course of "growing up", trying to hold tight to what we've known to be true - to all the right & beautiful things we've known, while witnessing the brokenness everywhere.  these lessons are not unique to cambodia, but our context here has helped bring these lessons to light for us here, in this place, in this year.

Our fifth year here has flown by - with such joy & also such sadness.

Last year, I asked for prayers that this year we would have eyes to really see & that we would have perspective to Be.Here.Now.

As it turns out, some prayers are soul scorching.

As the year unfolded, more often than not, the seeing felt like a dare.  Were we brave enough to look into the eyes of the old woman begging at our ankles, as we traveled festively to the Christmas dinner?  Would we watch the mentally disabled young man wandering the streets outside our office every day - look & not quickly glance away in discomfort?  Watch the videos, the too-gory-for-our-sheltered-eyes photos of young people, the ones who make our very clothes, bleeding in the streets in pools of rage & shattered hopes?  Know that we were here, but not there? Look & see all the times we couldn't stop anything.

Would we see & see & keep seeing?  Open our hearts to all the ways the world is bitterly cruel & tragically unsafe?

& at the same time, proclaim (in broken whispers, nothing more) that God is Good.  God is Love.  Because of his Love we are Not Consumed.  Did we dare to do that?

Lamentation 3:22-23

the 5+ years of absorbing tragedies, the Seeing has left our eyes scorched.  The world will never be the same wide, adventurous invitation again.  bursting with beauty & wonder - yes! (emphatically yes, we have known much, much more than our share of this goodness this year) but also lined with betrayal & a darkness that often feels unquenchable.

And somewhere in the midst of all this seeing , I found myself watching as a tiny body - born, but not to life - entered the flames.  And as his parents melted in grief, the only prayer any of us could muster was a pleading "Be.Here.Now".  In my request at this year's beginning, I had envisioned those words, that prayer, as a triumphant call to find joy in the moment. (And this year has held such glory for us - new words, first steps, travels, dance-filled bluegrass shows, overwhelming fellowship & love beyond what we ever could have asked)

first steps [ezra sparrow]
[first steps for ezzie: kep, winter 2014
photo by steve chee]

And yet, this year the prayer was also turned, flipped right upside down into a unrelenting call for Divine Accompaniment - repeated over & over for days (maybe a lifetime?) on end.
Immanuel - God.With.Us. the only answer to Job's dilemma & ours & the whole wide world's.

And so I come to the end of this year with palms (at times begrudgingly) open - thankful for the sacredness that filled a year's worth of spaces & walking on in that Promised Presence.

Come what may.

30 March 2013

fruit & the journey [4 years in cambodia]


(In the fall of last year, we crossed the 4 year marker & are now well into our 5th year in Cambodia.  I really wanted to share some reflections on crossing the 4-year mark & all the lessons we've learned, but somehow (or more likely, someone.... eh hem, ezra sparrow!) its taken awhile to collect my thoughts & now here we are, nearly 6 months later.  But I think the reflections are still relevant, so here are some thoughts on spending four years here.)

Talstra Family in a Tuk Tuk
[4 years: 4 talstras: picture by savady photography]


We aren't changing the world & that just might be ok.  Maybe, very few people are called to change the whole wide world after all.

We're trying to make small changes in the lives of Cambodian returnees & Cambodian women.  & that work is not glamorous   For us, to use our talents here, means we can most often be found working behind the scenes at a desk, or in a meeting room somewhere working on strategic planning, in board meetings, dreaming up new ways to work & to connect with supporters.  it means we spend a lot of time writing to ask for funding (because Cambodians have the skills & the passion to change their communities, just not always the means), monitoring that funding, then reporting on that funding .  
Rinse.  Wash.  Repeat.

But even that small contribution is not a good measure.  Funders can be fickle   Projects can fail.  Staff you trust can betray.  
So maybe, in the end, success is measured in the process.  In the means, if not always in the ends.

Did I speak to that person with love?  Did we go about our daily tasks with joy?  Did we contribute to peace in our conduct?    Were we patient with that colleague?  Was our kindness evident to all?  Did we focus on the goodness of those around us?  Did our lives & how we worked testify to the faithfulness of God?  Did we remain gentle in the face of violence & injustice?  Self-controlled in all the moral brokenness around us?

fruit of the spirit painting-001
[painting by christina of alepka arts]

Isaiah 58: 10-11 says that if we spend ourselves on behalf of the oppressed that we will be like well-watered springs.  We're still grappling (& often failing) with what it means to spend ourselves for others, especially now with 2 sweet little ones in tow. 

But somehow in His mercy, God has already given us the well-watered garden.  

Against even our own expectations, our little family has thrived here.  & so when I look back on 4 years in the Kingdom of Wonder, my overwhelming reflection is deep gratitude.  To the Lord, who has so faithfully guided us, protected us, & given us the garden.  & to you, our community, spread wide, who have watered us by supporting, encouraging, & even visiting us.
4 years in & many hard lessons later - we.are.so.blessed.

& as we look forward to 2 more years, please pray that we would live here with our eyes wide open & that we would see.  It is all too easy to walk/ride through this city, thinking of "to do" lists, whats for dinner, weekend plans, & in doing so, to miss the seeing.

Seeing the children digging through garbage, the recycling ladies carrying naked babies in their carts, the beggars, the real poverty, cruelty & squalor.  But also the LIFE, the smiles, the commitment for justice, the solidarity, & the kindness.

Please pray that our eyes would be wide, our hearts brave, & that despite the distractions, for us to
 Be.Here.Now.

3 May 2012

international workers' day

On May 1st we were privileged to join with thousands of Cambodian workers to celebrate International Workers' Day.  Interestingly, it was a holiday that originated in Chicago, but is no longer celebrated in the USA.  

The workers, from several unions in Cambodia and largely young women from the garment factories, were marching to present a petition to the government asking for the monthly minimum wage to be raised to a living wage of $131.  Yes, you read that correctly, $131 per month.  I know purchasing power parity is at play, but still that's less than my previous job in Canada paid per day.  Something about that just doesn't seem right.

I think their signs speak for themselves.

:: a decent wage for workers is the simplest form of justice::

international labor day 2012

9 January 2012

this is what injustice looks like [borei keila]


[mok phaith, 65, cries as she searches through the remains of her home which was demolished by authorities in borei keila.  photo by:heng chivoan, phnom penh post]

 on january 3rd, policemen, guards, and employees of the development company phan imex destroyed the homes of over 300 people in the heart of phnom penh. 

[bricks & debris are all that remain. photo by: mai vireak-phnom penh post]

the company plans to use the area for commercial deveoplement.


[former residents. photo by: Samrang Pring/Reuters]


read more about the eviction and the response of civil society groups here & here.


3 November 2011

on knowing another culture [3 years in cambodia]


beautiful family

somewhere along the way, i wrote this quote in my journal under the heading 
"on knowing another culture"

When you've been in a place for two weeks you feel you can write a book, 
once you've been there for a few months you're happy if you can get a few coherent paragraphs together 
and after you've been there for many years you're not sure if you can write anything at all.*

little boy blue in kampong chamthis season has been a time of reflection for us, as we've had a break between travels & have also been intentionally trying to carve out more time for rest in our lives. 

as we've come our three-year marker (really? already?) we've been processing a lot.  when we left home, it felt like our 3-year commitment was large & looming & that we would come away from the experience so changed, so different, having learned so much about what it means to go, to follow, to serve, to be among the poor.  

well.... yes & no.  our time here has passed in the blink of an eye, life here has been much easier than we expected - filled with such joy, friendships & travel.  but also harder too as we've had to un-learn a lot of the things, beliefs, assumptions, & cultural certitudes we thought we knew. & we thought were solid docking points & that sort of education can be quite unsettling.    

so, while clarity will likely always elude us as we encounter life in all its complexity, what have we learned after 3 years here in Cambodia? 


o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o 

that a masters degree in development doesn't mean you know to respond to a child begging you for food.  that we are not the ones we've been waiting for. 

that Joy comes with the morning.  

amanda in kampong cham
that here & there & everywhere, beauty & brokenness cannot be un-twined.  that genocide, atrocity, violence is not a sudden, distinct evil - its your childhood friend wielding a farming tool & following orders, too afraid to disobey, to risk the consequences.  its us too afraid to speak out & challenge oppression, to risk the consequences.  

that we all, all, all need mercy & grace.




daniel in kampong thom


that even when we don our best results-based-management-theory, the outcomes are hard to measure.  that maybe transformation can't be written into a logframe.  that the process is the development.  

that faith is the substance of things hoped for & the evidence of things unseen.




o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o       o    

however, one thing we do know for certain is how unbelievably supported we have felt these past three years.  we have been grounded & blessed by our rock solid communities both at home & our new community here.  thank you for all of your support, encouragement & prayers; our cup has & continues to, overflow.

*i'm not sure where this quote comes from & google is no help - sorry to whoever first said this!
** a disclaimer - actually the bulk of our work takes place in an office, but those pictures are not interesting, so i'm posting the field visit ones!

29 April 2011

conquering the mekong


we now interrupt this regularly scheduled broadcast to bring you a tale of an adventure.

four men on a quest to conquer the mekong river in a homemade bamboo raft.


[the video is a bit long, but really, what adventure isn't a bit long in the end?]

28 April 2011

Cooking Up Justice

We don't work directly with World Vision here in Cambodia, but I thought this video was inspiring, with good shots of both Phnom Penh and the rural areas to give you a picture of Cambodian life.



30 March 2011

siesta

siesta with dad

one great thing about cambodia is their tradition of the lunchtime nap.
the lunch break here is two hours - leavings lots of time for eating & napping. before baby cedar joined us we used to work through the mid-day siesta, but now its fast becoming a family tradition.

IMG_2552-1

23 March 2011

escape to the seaside [kep]


IMG_2575-1



while amanda's parents, jim & mary, were visiting we had the chance to escape phnom penh & explore a bit of cambodia. our first excursion was a long weekend at the seaside village of kep, one of our favorite cambodian getaways.

seaside kep



we stayed in bungalows, had leisurely breakfasts, played scrabble, took photos where we tried to look very serious & very cool, ate seafood, stared at the baby, napped in hammocks, walked by the ocean, went swimming, played more scrabble, stared at the baby some more...

2011.02

& visited a mango & pepper farm!

2011.021

25 February 2011

the littlest traveler [cedar moves to cambodia]


as he grows, we're really hoping that baby cedar takes after his folks & develops a love for travel & also, hopefully for the journey.

DSCF2017
[leaving bangkok & cedar's "halfway home house" with oma & auntie nathania]

2011.02-1
[chilling at the airport]

his first test was the flight to cambodia at 12 days old & we were pleasantly surprised that our little guy made the big trip without batting an eyelash. he slept the entire time!

DSCF2028
[sleeping the flight away]

perhaps it has something to do with the fact that during his 9 months in utero the little guy spent
5 months in Cambodia
1 month in Uganda
1 month in the USA
1 month in Canada
& 1 month in Thailand!

we're so happy to have baby c. home safe & sound & welcomed with such love by his community in phnom penh.

IMG_2140

DSCF2070
[cedar's beautiful welcome home signs from our MCC team & home church]


31 December 2010

kirirom kamping

they say sometimes a picture is worth a whole lot more than words.

d&a
[photo by steveamie]

25 November 2010

blessed are those who mourn

[photo by Justin Mott for The New York Times]

blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted - matthew 5:4

[Photo by AFP]

[Photo by Pha Lina, Phnom Penh Post]

tragedy has come to cambodia, a nation who is no stranger to grief. & today the country is grieving. & mourning. & struggling to comfort one another. & perhaps for many, reliving loss & trauma from decades long past. please pray, for the healing wings of God to comfort those who mourn in Cambodia today.

emma leslie, the director at the centre for peace & conflict studies here in phnom penh, shared these reflections today. its a long read, but i think it really touches the core of why exactly this tragedy has felt so raw & overwhelming in this city.

Reflecting on Cambodia’s National Day of Mourning

The Water Festival is a time of great celebration in Cambodia. It is always celebrated around November but the dates are dependent on the moon. Some say it’s a chance to honour the rivers which replenish the soil for the harvest. Others say it’s to honour the spirits which make the river miraculous change direction and flow in the other direction. Mostly it’s the time where the people from Cambodia’s countryside take over the capital! Phnom Penh is theirs. They sleep along the streets, they cheer on the boat of their district, they stay up all night and enjoy the myriad of free entertainment from fireworks to concerts and traditional dancing. It’s a grand celebration of life!

The development of a new island in the river, accessed through such a beautiful bridge decorated with a Naga snake, was this year such a focal point for the celebration. So many went to Diamond Island over the holiday period for the trade show, the fun park, the free concerts, the displays and because so many other people were there to see! Such a focal point of joy and happiness, amongst Cambodia’s rural poor.

And therein lies the tragedy. Those that died on the bridge on November 22 were hardly Cambodia’s wealthy. They were yet again the poorest of the poor. Garment factory workers, usually young women out for a good time. Sisters from a tiny village disobeying their mother and running to the capitol to join the fun. They were slum dwellers from a nearby slum soon to be demolished. They were moto-dop drivers, garbage collectors, market sellers, rice farmers. And now 395 such people lay dead in the height of the celebrations.

No doubt there will much discussion and debate by NGOs and human rights groups in weeks to come. How the government could have protected them. How safety standards are not enforced. But this is not the day for such recriminations. Today a prime minister weeps openly with his people, and the streets are silent. Outside every home, along every street, there are the traditional offerings, candles and incense for those who have passed. TV channels read the names of those who have died, replay the footage of that fateful night and update the death toll hour to hour.

It is hard to watch the images without comparing them to so many of the images long associated with Cambodia. It is not a publicity stunt that so many of those interviewed by the media, including Hun Sen’saddress to the nation, refer back to the Khmer Rouge years. Not since then has there been such a tragedy in our history, they say. One woman wept, I lost everyone to the Khmer Rouge, and now I lost my son in this stampede. Who will take care of me now?
Over the past decade the international community has tried hard to persuade Cambodia that an international tribunal was necessary to heal Cambodia’s past, to reconcile the nation, to bring closure. To date the tribunal has seemed an alien legal process, far the from reality of everyday lives and certainly not a mechanism for healing deep seated pains and loss.

But the events of the past few days have felt very different. In every restaurant, in every market, along the street – people go about their business slowly and silently. People watch tv screens in breakfast shops and cry openly. On Wednesday I watched a military truck slowly make its way down the Monivong, the main road through Phnom Penh, filled with coffins. As it past shops and houses, guards, pedestrians, passersby, all stood, almost to attention, to pay respect and honour those nameless corpses going by.

I drove past the hospital and found people giving out water to the many people camped out there trying to find their family members. A huge billboard displayed the unidentified people still indie the hospital, and people clamber over each other to see if they can find their own.
While this has been a deep and great tragedy for Cambodia, something else is going on here. This country has become united in its grief. People are coming together to put right, something which was very wrong. They are standing together to mourn their country people, fully aware that those who died were the least among them, and now deserve the highest honour for their tragic end. And of course all of us looking on wonder how they can bear more suffering, more grief and more pain.

The late Maha Ghosananda, Cambodia’s peace monk often chanted;

The suffering of Cambodia has been deep. From this suffering comes great Compassion.
Great Compassion makes a Peaceful Heart.
A peaceful Heart makes a Peaceful Person.
A Peaceful Person makes a Peaceful Community.
A Peaceful Community makes a Peaceful Nation.
And a Peaceful Nation makes a Peaceful World.
May all beings live in Happiness and Peace.

Perhaps Maha understood that it is the yoke Cambodians must bear on behalf of us all. People who come to Cambodia often comment of the smiles of the children, the happiness of the people. They marvel at the sense of fun, and joy in simple pleasures. They speak of the open hearted way Cambodians welcome them, embrace them and befriend them. Perhaps this is what Maha speaks of – the joy that is born of suffering. Perhaps Cambodia suffers so much so that compassion can be.

For the past 48 hours Cambodian television channels have received donations from around the country for the victims’ families and the injured survivors. No amount is too small to announce on the television recognising the contributions of even the poorest people. From this suffering comes great compassion.

One boy told of a man who saw him trapped under the feet of the people on the bridge. He bent down and lift the boy up and put him on his shoulders so he was above the crowd. Later the boy realised he was riding on the shoulders of a dead man. From this suffering comes great compassion.

What we learn through the events of the past few days is that sense of national identity and reconciled togetherness cannot come from outside. It comes from the shared suffering, losses histories and processes which people experience for themselves. In many South East Asian nations those shared histories are days of liberation, celebrating anti colonial struggles and the pride of self determination. Cambodia has no just day of celebration or national unity. Cambodia’s unity seems always to come through her suffering. Piles of shoes belonging to the deceased – in the Khmer Rouge years and again today. The mass graves of the Killing Fields, parallel to lines of bodies along the river bank of the past two days.

Today is Cambodia’s National Day of Mourning. Today, one after another Cambodians are laying flowers and burning incense at the fateful bridge. This is their time, where they stand together as a nation and grieve. This is not just grief for those who died in this incident. This is truly a National Day of Mourning for all the suffering they have endured. This is the time they rally and unite to put right something which went very wrong. This is their moment of national unity. This is the suffering they bear, from which compassion is born. As a prime minister weeps with his people, Maha’s words echo over this timeless land;

"Our journey for peace begins today and every day.
Each step is a prayer, each step is a meditation, each step will build a bridge."


Ironic, yet true. Cambodians will wipe their tears, and continue to build their nation, heal their hearts and show great compassion. Not just to each other, but to the world.

Emma Leslie Phnom Penh, November 25, 2010




12 October 2010

& what do you do?


while we were in north american this summer/fall we made a few presentations about our work in cambodia. i thought i'd post the slides here, in case you've ever wondered just what exactly it
is we do here.
Talstras in Cambodia

and while i'm at it, MCC British Columbia just came out with its Prayer Booklet for 2011. If you have a moment, you can read about the experiences of MCC workers in British Columbia, Colombia, Cambodia, El Salvador, and Zambia. (we're on page 21 & 22, click the image to download)


7 April 2010

our neighborhood [hannah visits cambodia part 1]


last month we had the really great pleasure of hosting my dear friend hannah for 3 weeks. she is a pediatrics resident in St. Louis & was able to arrange to do a rotation at the national pediatric hospital in phnom penh (more on that later).

there were so many amazing things about her visit, but one great thing is being able to look at cambodia through fresh eyes & her amazing camera lens. our neighboorhood has become routine for us, but hannah was able to capture some really great, iconic "bun tum puun" (our neighborhood's name) moments...

[goats on a pile of bricks - watching the goat try to come down was pretty hilarious - goats & bricks were sliding/falling everywhere!]

[sunset walk by the (sewage?) canal]

[some neighbors let us try fishing, although all we caught was sludge]


[happy]

[this is our house. our landlord has a small store in the front & we live on the second floor of the house in the back]

[our street, in front of our house]

[rooster patrol]


18 February 2010

MCC BC stories booklet

[here is an excerpt about our work from the MCC BC Workers Prayer Booklet, click on the picture to download the stories booklet]

I do not at all understand the mystery of God’s grace – only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.

-Anne Lammott, Traveling Mercies

Daniel & Amanda Talstra, MCC Cambodia

Our MCC assignment involves spending the majority of our time working at the Royal University of Agriculture in Phnom Penh. In addition, Daniel works with the Returnee Integration Support Center. This organization assists Cambodians who were admitted into the United States as refugees and then later deported back to Cambodia. Amanda works with Women Peacemakers, an organization that provides training in rural provinces about women's rights, domestic violence, and conflict mediation.

We see God working in the people we meet who are working for the poor and marginalized in their own country. Cambodia is trying to recover from the horrors of the Khmer Rouge, while at the same time speeding into the globalized world. It is also a country that is leaving behind millions of poor farmers in rural provinces and disrespecting the human rights of many. The Cambodians we meet who are choosing to sacrifice of themselves and to stand up for the rights of their brothers and sisters remind us that God is at work in this country in a million small, but powerful ways.

Prayer requests:

  • that Cambodian leaders will be wise and honest in their work.
  • that God would provide for all those who are hungry, especially children who have high rates of malnourishment.
  • for the Cambodian church to work in unity and serve as a powerful witness to Christ
  • for us, that we would be diligent in the work we have been called to do and loving to all those around us.

8 February 2010

jungle temples [beautiful & broken]

at ta prohm temple we observed the epic struggle of the jungle reclaiming its territory (in slow motion).

uprooting the massive temple in a strangely twisting, bulbous & yet enchanting embrace.

it seems a fitting metaphor for cambodia itself.

beautiful.
&.
broken.

jungle + temple





jungle + temple